HAVE A TUESDAY LAUGH

One fisherman to another, "You should've seen what happened yesterday at the lake."
"What happened?"
"I caught a twenty-three pound salmon!"
"Were there any witnesses?"
"Yes, of course! If there wasn't, it would've been thirty-three pounds."

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 A football fan's wife says, "I hate it when my husband calls leftovers 'Replays'."
A TV Executive's wife says, "Well my husband calls them 'Reruns'."
Mortician's wife says, "Count yourselves lucky, my husband calls them remains!"

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 An elderly couple were sitting outdoors at a cafe when they noticed an old man who seemed to be having trouble crossing the street with an ungainly shuffle. The man said to his wife, "He surely has bad arthritis to walk like that."
His wife replied, "No, that's definitely old time rheumatism."
They couldn't agree so the man decided to ask the old man. He walked over to him and said, "Excuse me, sir, but my wife and I saw you having difficulty crossing the street and I told her that you have arthritis but she insisted that you have rheumatism. Which one of us was wrong?"
The old man said, "The three of us were wrong."
"Three of us were wrong? How so?" asked the man.
To which the old man replied, "You were wrong when you said I had arthritis, your wife was wrong when she said I had rheumatism, and I was wrong when I thought I just had to pass gas."

THE TANZANIA REVENGE AUTHORITY!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE BEST OF THE BEST

13 COUNTRIES MEET IN DAR TO DISCUSS EDUCATION

Chair of the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam and Head Office and country Representative of UNESCO, Zulmira Rodrigues welcomes invited guests, dignitaries and key speakers during Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.(All photos by Zainul Mzige

The Minister for Education, Science, Technology and Vocational Training Prof Joyce Ndalichako delivering key note address to officiate Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Unesco Regional Office for Eastern Africa, Director Mrs Ann Therese Ndong-Jatta addressing Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

UNHCR Head Regional Services Center, Mrs Victoria Akyeampong, gives her statement at the National Forum Session during the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Linda Madete from UNESCO Office Dar es Salaam gives out some of the education materials and brochures to invited guests during the Ministerial Sustainable Development Goals numbers 4 that focuses on ensuring inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all at the Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

The Minister for Education, Science, Technology and Vocational Training, Prof Joyce Ndalichako (far left) arrives at Julius Nyerere International Convention Centre (JINCC )to attend the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Norwegian Ambassador to Tanzania, Hanne-Marie Kaarstad tete-a-tete with the UNHCR Representative to Tanzania, Chansa Ruth Kapaya at the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African.

Swedish Ambassador to Tanzania H.E Katarina Rangnitt gives a welcome remark on behalf of Diplomatic Corps at the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African. Katarina emphasized on the importance of equipping young people with proper education and relevant skills to make them competent.

A cross section of ministers from Eastern Africa, Unesco officials and the SDG4 co- conveners (ILO, UNFPA, UNDP, UNICEF, UN Women, UNHCR and World Bank) listening attentively on various speakers at the ongoing Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Some of the invited dignitaries attending the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

The Minister of State in the President's Office responsible for Regional Administration and Local Government (TAMISEMI), Hon  George Simbachawene and Norwegian Ambassador to Tanzania, Hanne-Marie Kaarstad (right)  follows  the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Deputy Minister for Education, Science, Technology and Vocational Training Eng. Stella Manyanya exchanging contacts with a disabled teacher Madam Sophia Mbeyela (centre) at the ongoing Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

Group Photo.

The Minister for Education, Science, Technology and Vocational Training Prof. Joyce Ndalichako elaborates a point to reporters about the prons and cons of the Ministerial SDG4 Regional Forum for Eastern African in Dar es Salaam.

The Minister of State in the President's Office responsible for Regional Administration and Local Government (TAMISEMI), Hon. George Simbachawene making a point during the press conference at the Julius Nyerere International Conference Centre.

 A cross section of Ministers and Journalists.

Zanzibar Minister of Education and Vocational Training Hon.Riziki Pembe shares her experience on how they have prioritized Sustainable Development Goals on Education in the Island.

Minister of Education &Human Resources  Tertiary Education & Scientific Research to the Republic of Mauritius, Leela Dookon Luchoomon gives testimony on her country achievement on education.

Minister of State for Primary Education in Uganda, Hon. Nansubuga Rosemary Seninde explains to reporters what it means to deal with children who do not want to attend schools in a bid to pursue compulsory education for all.

Minister of National Education and Vocational Training in the Republic of Djibouti, Hon. Moustapha Mohamed Mahamoud explaining challenges encounters in the education sector during the press conference.

13 Ministers from Eastern Africa, Unesco and the SDG4 co- conveners (ILO, UNFPA, UNDP, UNICEF, UN Women, UNHCR and World Bank) are in Dar es salaam to identify priorities and policy recommendations for a regional roadmap for the implementation of the SDG4- Education 2030 agenda and linkages with other SDGs;

In two days meeting opened yesterday at Julius Nyerere International Convention Centre (JINCC) various people made different remarks on how to ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all.

Opening the floor to welcome all participants including ministers from Comoros, Djibout, Eritrea, Ethiopia, Kenya, Madagascar, Mauritius, Rwanda, Seychelles, Somalia, South Sudan, Tanzania and Uganda, Swedish Ambassador to Tanzania  H.E Katarina Rangnitt spoke about Young people being given proper education with relevant skills to make them competent.

She talked about unlocking the potential of the people by keeping children in school and managing drop out with full knowledge that education is the tool to reach development goals.

“With the growing frustrations among the youth on lack of employment, climate change and disasters she asked participants to come out with practical solutions making sure that nobody is being left behind with a keen attention to kids with disabilities.” She said.

She asked the participants to look at how global SDGs will be achieved in accordance to the national policies targets and plans.

Speaking at the same meeting Mrs Victoria Akyeampong, UNHCR Head Regional Services Center spoke about the need to support people of concern so as to reach the goal as the agenda 2030 spoke about leaving no body behind.

She said refugees and migrants are in dire need of support because of the fragile situation they are. She said less than one percent of those people are enrolled in education. She asked the participants to increase access to refugees through digital education.

She also asked East Africans to look at the best way of including refugees in their national school as is being done in Cameroon Chad and Pakistan.

Unesco Regional Office for Eastern Africa, Director Mrs Ann Therese Ndong-Jatta addressing the forum posed several question to the participants on priorities and what makes good education.

She said the forum was initiated to deal with the missing link by focusing difficult questions which are still puzzling the community.

On education, she asks about the environment, investment and if people are happy with the current education set up. She examined critically what does examinations do to the kids. If it is not only creating competitions and not happiness.

 She wanted the participants to look and come out with the statement what are we supposed to do to have a true education. She said kids and the rest, learning should be joy and not otherwise and teaching should be joy too.

She remembered Mwalimu Nyerere, Tanzania Founding father, for his courage to insist on using local language to teach. She said by using local language as other nation like China and Japanese did we will create confidence to our people and allow mothers to teach their kids.

In her Key note address Hon Prof Joyce The Minister for Education, Science, Technology and Vocational Training, insisted the importance of the platform in transforming the East African society. She said the platform is an important platform and step in the construction of a common vision for the education 2030 agenda.

“This is an important platform and step in the construction of a common vision for the Education 2030 Agenda, and for our countries to share National Road maps, to identify emerging common areas, and to identify common challenges and opportunities", said Ndalichako.

She said Tanzania is ready to engage in achieving the targets of SDG4.

She further added that the successful implementation of the SDG4 like any other programme, depends much on political will and support.

TODAY'S PICS

THE DAY I SMOKED MY FIRST AND LAST JOINT

I had just moved out of my parents house, against their advice and was sharing a room with my "friend". I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious movements and signature weed scent barely two weeks after moving in with him. My worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room. Being a very curious I always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so I decided to find out. It was a very hot day in February, a hot Saturday it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't find it so I decided to go and buy mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets all expect one, I concluded that he must be the seller so I approached him and the following conversation ensued: 

Me: I want to buy a piece

Weed seller: How much? 

Me: Just a small piece.

Weed seller laughs really hard, maybe he found out I was new in the game, so he asks which brand? Arusha , Mbeya or Makambako?

Me: Just give me any; he laughs louder and rolls me a piece and I gave him a thousand shillings he gives me back a change of 800 shillings. Now that was cheaper than I thought, much cheaper. On my way home I bought a box of biscuits and a bottle of Fanta, I wanted to enjoy my first experience. To cut the long story short I arrived home and smoked the whole joint ate up all the biscuits and drank my cool refreshing Fanta and felt fine nothing strange. So I called up my room mate and told him I had smoked a whole joint and nothing has happened while he and his friends smoke half a joint and make a hell lot of noise. My friend just laughed and told me my head must be pretty strong. I decided to take a nap. I woke up 20 minutes later on the floor and I was banging my head on the floor and I couldn't stop it, I could hear my heart beating very fast, it was frightening a bit as I could clearly hear the sound of my blood flowing in my veins. Suddenly a voice told me to take of my clothes, I stopped banging my head on the floor and undressed, and the voice said run to the bathroom and shower, I did and immediately when I tried to shower I found the water was boiling hot so I ran out of the bathroom. This was confusing so I called my room mate again and asked him what to do, he just laughed and cut me off. Things were getting worse, a group of ants started biting me in my private parts, I just don't know where they came from,  and also there was this severe itch behind my neck, I knew it was the devil itch, the devil wanted to kill me, I had to go to the nearest church for prayers as devils are afraid of prayers, I ran from my room heading to the church, people were cheering at me in the streets because I ran faster tha Hussain Bolt. It was when I reached the church gate which was closed that I realized I had not put on my clothes. But the voice in my head told me not to worry nobody can see me, I had acquired supernatural powers and was now invisible. A group of people came from nowhere and held me, I told them it was okay no one can see me, they also agreed with me but they tied my hands behind and carried me of to hospital. I tried to tell the doctor that all I need was a bottle of Fanta that would help in chasing away bad spirts that had attacked me,  instead he injected me something that put me to sleep. I woke up the next day. I moved back to my parents that very day and vowed never to smoke anything again