TANZANIA NCHI YANGU

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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A TANZANIAN WINS HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN’S YOUNG LEADERS AWARD

By  Ayoub  Mzee-London
Her Majesty The Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, accompanied by Prince Harry, has hosted a special ceremony in the Ballroom at Buckingham Palace to present medals to the 60 winners of The Queen's Young Leaders Awards for 2016. Among them  was Rachel Nungu  from  Tanzania  a doctor and the national co-ordinator of a medical programme to help children who are born with clubfoot. The programme uses a non-surgical method called the Ponseti method to treat patients. Children born with clubfoot are often hidden away, so Rachel has built good relationships with community leaders to spread awareness of the condition and its treatment. She has contributed to the establishment of partnerships with clinics in different regions and has trained staff. So far, more than 100 children have been treated, and in the future the group hopes to help more of the 3,000 children who are born with the condition each year.
Chairman of The Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee Trust, Sir John Major, David Beckham and Sir Lenny Henry were also in attendance.
The Queen’s Young Leaders Award is a prestigious Commonwealth project which recognises and celebrates exceptional young people from across the Commonwealth who are taking the lead in their communities and using their skills to transform lives.
The Queen’s Young Leaders programme aims to discover, celebrate and support young people from every Commonwealth nation. The awardees are chosen for having transformed their own lives and the lives of those around them, despite challenges they may have faced along the way.
 

PLEASE SIGN HERE FOR A PETITION FOR A REMATCH- ENGLAND VS ICELAND HAHAHAHAHA


BREXIT, NOW WE KNOW HOW THEY GOT THERE


Once upon a time 10 minus 4 was 6

JPM drops 100 DCs-The Citizen, Magufuli sweeps out 78 DCs-Mtanzania, Magufuli cuts off 93 DCs-Tanzania Daima, Magufuli brings down 100 DCs-Mwananchi, JPM spits 101 DCs-Jambo Leo, I remember once upon a time newspapers were the most trusted source of info

Friday, June 24, 2016

I WANT MY WIFE BACK, SAYS THE BODABODA DRIVER

Patrick Mangala (25) a Bodaboda driver (bodaboda is a motorcycle just in case its a new word) wants back his wife whom he was forced to exchange with another man after being caught with the others wife. Confused? Just wait, the Bodaboda driver was married to a girl called Susan, but started sleeping with the wife Ernest Anjeche (42), and one day got caught. So it was agreed they exchange wives as a solution, so he won't have to commit adultery. But now Patric is threatening to kill Ernest, he wants his wife back as he says, the woman he was given has run away. Ernest says this is strange because he last saw Patrick leaving happily with his former wife, and he is now very happy with his younger and new wife.
The saga is said to be happening in Kakamega Kenya according to Jamboleo Magazine

SHE PAID 260 MILLION SHILLINGS FOR A HUSBAND?


A traditional healer  Halid Mjewa and his comrades Salum Mwawala and Said Magangi  have been brought before the law after being accused of swindling one Sophia Lolila a sum of 260 million shillings, sometime between January and December 201.  It was explained that these guys promised Sophia that through dark forces there were going to make her richer on top of that  get a husband and kids.
 From Jamboleo newspaper today

BHARTI AIRTEL SALES ALL ITS SHARES IN TTC TO TANZANIA GOVERMENT


Airtel Tanzania (Airtel)  announced that it has signed an agreement with Tanzania Telecommunications Company Limited (TTCL) to complete the sale of its 35% shareholding in the fixed line business to the Government of Tanzania.

 Airtel Africa’s Executive Chairman, Christian de Faria said, “The completion of the sale of Bharti Airtel’s shareholding in TTCL to the Government marks the end of a long and mutually beneficial journey in fixed line telecommunications. Airtel remains committed to Tanzania as it continues its strategic partnership with the Government through the mobile business - Airtel Tanzania, and will continue to invest to grow the business further.”

TREASURY Registrar, Mr Lawrence Mafuru (left) and Bharti Airtel Africa CEO, Christian De Faria signing an agreement to exit its shareholding in Tanzania Telecommunications Company Limited (TTCL) where it had 35% Equity together with the Government of Tanzania holding 65%. Looking on center is the Deputy Permanent Secretary Ministry of Construction Work and Communication Dr. Maria Sasabo, and other government officials. The Signing ceremony took place today at TTCL Head Office Samora Street Dar es Salaam.



. TREASURY Registrar, Mr Lawrence Mafuru (left) display  Bharti Airtel
shareholding certificate soon after Bharti Airtel Africa CEO, Christian De Faria (right) signed an agreement to exit its shareholding in Tanzania Telecommunications Company Limited (TTCL) where Bharti Airtel had 35%



. Airtel  Africa team with Tanzania Government delegates  soon after  signing an agreement for Bharti Airtel  to exit its 35% shareholding in Tanzania Telecommunications Company  Limited (TTCL )were Government  of Tanzania will own 100% equity.

 
About Bharti Airtel                      
Bharti Airtel Limited is a leading global telecommunications company with operations in 20 countries across Asia and Africa. Headquartered in New Delhi, India, the company ranks amongst the top 3 mobile service providers globally in terms of subscribers. In India, the company's product offerings include 2G, 3G and 4G wireless services, mobile commerce, fixed line services, high speed DSL broadband, IPTV, DTH, enterprise services including national & international long distance services to carriers. In the rest of the geographies, it offers 2G, 3G and 4G wireless services and mobile commerce. Bharti Airtel had over 361 million customers across its operations at the end of May 2016. To know more please visit, www.airtel.com

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

PARENTS BE WARNED




Sometimes I try to be a bit serious and talk some serious stuff, I try to help my neighbors, maybe this could get me to heaven. But the serious problem is in this country, my beloved Bongoland aka Tanzania, everybody knows everything.  Trying to help many times is useless. Everyone knows every answer to all the football questions, if you don’t believe me just stop anyone in the street and ask them what should be done to change the luck of  this famous team Arsenal?  You will get very good answers including excellent ones which would suggest the change of the team witch doctor. But today I will not be asking questions, I will be giving solutions. Solutions to parents who think they know everything but scientific researches are proving that they don’t know much. Every parent who makes some good money knows that you have to send your kid to an ‘International school’. This allows you to sit with other parents and be able to discuss the problems facing kids in International school. You automatically stop being friends with parents who don’t have kids who can speak English, I mean like what can you talk about?
Now when your kid joins an International School, his or her report reflects what the school feels about you. If you have problems paying your fees, your kid’s report will be different from the kid whose school fees is trouble free. Now here is how to read your kids report, that is if you have paid all your fees properly. When the report arrives this is how it should be translated;
1.      Your child has a high capacity of getting information from his fellow children- It means you kid is an expert at copying and pasting.
2.      Your child is a happy child full of vitality and strength- Your child is so troublesome I wish I could give him sleeping pills
3.      Your child is full of innovations- He is a big liar
4.      Your child is a quite boy who prefers to sit quietly for hours going through his books- He is a lazy bum
5.      Your child has a high capacity of explaining himself- Your kid never agrees on anything.
6.      Your child is adventurous –He is never in the school compound .
7.      Your child has retained a lot of his childhood qualities that made him your favorite kid- He pees on himself.
 Well don’t say I didn’t tell you


















Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Mhhhhhhhh Mmmmmhhhhh Mhh mhhh mhhhhhhh


VILLAGERS IN COURT FOR ALLEGEDLY STEALING AN ARMY TANK

VF510 Army Tank
There are a lot of  people who can't read Kiswahili newspapers, guys you are missing a lot of fun. These papers write stories for Tanzanians, which everyone knows will not be read by donors and tourist. So this is where the fun is. My blog will be bringing you newspaper stories the upper class never gets to see.Lets start with this story that came up on 20th Tuesday 2016.
 According to one local newspaper, Dira Jumatatu, 20 villagers from Tondoroni village in Kisarawe District have been charged with stealing army tank model IVF80 and hiding it in their village. According to this paper the case was brought up to the court and the presiding Magistrate Hon Pangusa was so surprised that he asked,"Was the tank in a plastic bag or was it in box that it became so easy for the villagers to steal? And where were the army guards all the time?" According to paper, a senior District police officer, Issa mohamed Mtavi answered by explaining to the Magistrate that the tank wasn't very heavy as 12 people could easily carry it in their arms. The Magistrate said he didn't believe that so he wanted to see the tank with his own eyes, unfortunately the paper tells us that the judge never made the trip to check the tank.
A few hours after the paper had hit the streets, the army spokesman called a press conference, and said the army had not lost a tank and demanded the paper to come up with an a apology.

Monday, June 20, 2016

WAS BI KIDUDE KIDNAPED?

Was Bi Kidude kidnaped?That's what a new film titled I shot Bi Kidude wants to tell us, the film which will be screen as part of the East End Film Festival on 3rd July 2016. The film, which to me looks like the making of something out of nothing, has this fantastic introduction,
Film-maker Andy Jones, who first made a documentary about Kidude in 2006, had lost contact with the singer when, in 2012, he was contacted by friends on the island who told him of her disappearance. 

He immediately picked up his camera and returned to Zanzibar to document the search to find her. The resulting film, I Shot Bi Kidude, follows the trail of her kidnapper, eventually leading to a man called Baraka, her “nephew”, who had been keeping Kidude hostage in a house where she was clearly in a state of distress.
For more about this amazing story read here


Saturday, June 11, 2016

KULA MUHIMU KULIKO EATING


CAN I GET A HALELUIYAAAA


DID I HEAR TOOTHSTICKS?


THATS HOW WE DANCE TO MSONDO MUSIC


I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN TANZANIA..SO THE CHINESE HAVE GOT YOU TOO?


OTHER STUPID FELLAS YOU SHOULD NOT BEFRIEND


THE WINNER OF THIS WEEK'S STUPIDITY AWARD IS..........


HELP NEEDED, WHO IS THIS TANZANIAN LADY?



YES THERE ARE ONLY FOUR LEGS SORRY

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Just be quite and stay where you are," she said told her lover, "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense there are only four," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know, SORRY."


THATS HOW I KNOW I AM DRUNK

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer then looks into his pocket. He does this every time he orders another beer. Finally, the bartender asks why every time he orders a beer he has to look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I know I am drunk"


WHEN THE AUTO MECHANIC GETS THAT FIRST KISS

This is what you get when you marry a garage mechanic who is used to sucking petrol from carburetors